themusemanor | PSL - James Watson | Helen Magnus ---> We're glad for what we've got

"I would, actually, but... I simply enjoy spending time with you, no matter what it is we are doing."

And that much was true, though she would willingly take the blame for his sudden interest in party-going. She wasn't much of a partier herself, not when she had other things she could be doing around the Sanctuary, but if given the chance to show off her newly acquired... man... then she would be more than happy to.

But what she really wanted to do was stay here with him for now. She liked this. Probably too much.

"And I you Helen, if I did not, we would not be here."

And that was the truth as well, if he didn't want to be around her he would be gone by now. But yes, if given the chance to show Helen off on his arm, he would gladly take it, even if it was at a party, and he had better things too do. Because he liked showing her off, really.

And this closeness? He liked, no loved this as well. Probably too much as well.

"I know."

And she did know. If either of them had wanted to be anywhere else in the world, they would be. They wouldn't stay where they were uncomfortable. That just wasn't how they worked.

Her smile couldn't have been happier if she'd wanted it to be. She did want to kiss him again, but she wasn't sure if that would be acceptable or not, especially with propriety still staring them in the face. So instead, she reached up to simply place a hand against his cheek, doing her best not to brush his beard the wrong way.

It was perfect. Too perfect. For the moment, she didn't care. She was just happy to have this chance with him at all.

Being so comfortable with her that he tilted his head into her hand, resisting some urge to lean in and kiss her (because propriety really, it was important no matter what he may say), instead focusing her hand on his cheek. Which was enough in and of itself to prompt him to squeeze her hand for a moment before speaking.

"Helen, how far," he started, not sure how to word it. He knew he wanted her at his side for as long as she'd have him, but how far did she want to go? This was, an entirely difficult situation truly.

"How far, would you like to take this? Or are we, going to see how this will go, love?"

"I don't know," she answered honestly, letting her eyes search his for a moment. And that was the truth. She really didn't know just how far she was comfortable with taking this... relationship. "I do know that.. when the ladies asked me tonight whether or not you and I were seeing each other, I had wanted to be able to say 'yes.'"

Helen wanted that much at least, to be with him, to know he would protect her and that she could trust him. It really was too bad that their society cared so much about reputations. Helen wasn't sure who else was in the Sanctuary with them at the moment, and deciding if it was worth the risk or not was quite the distraction.

Her admission shocked him at first, and he glanced down at their hands, trying to process what it meant. This was a new area for him to attempt to figure out, and when he looked back at her he was, at least, assured of her honesty. "I, would very much like it if you did say that."

It was a quiet admission, and spoke volumes, he hoped, as to what he wanted out of this relationship. And as he said it he leaned in and this time, attempted to kiss her first, to see if she would take that as a sign of how much he wanted this with her.

At first, Helen thought that perhaps she'd said too much, become too forward suddenly. But then he was looking back at her and his words made her heart miss a beat. The surprise was clear on her face before a smile stole its way onto her lips. Maybe this would work out. Maybe they could-

Her mind dropped that thought partway as she noticed he was leaning towards her. She let her eyes slide shut as he kissed her, keeping her hand on his cheek as she moved just a touch closer to him. Her hand in his squeezed, holding onto him as they sat there and for a moment, she couldn't think of anything else but how close they were and what this kiss meant.

After a few moments, she pulled back just a little bit so she could see him. "I guess that answers that," she murmured before she leaned back in to press her lips against his a third time.

Yes maybe this would work out, maybe they could be something more. But until he knew better he would just take the moments when he could with her as it was better than anything else at the moment.

Which was why he held his tongue after the second kiss, and when she started the third he squeezed her hand just as she had done to him before, his eyes closed. Perhaps he should take advantage of this after all, while Gregory was away and he could be more free with his affections concerning her. At least until they talked to Gregory about it of course.

But he did pull away after a few moments himself, smiling at her, "I believe, darling, you and I should enjoy this, before your father comes home. I would not like to, squander our time together while he is away."

Helen knew her father would be returning in a few days' time and she'd expected as much. He wouldn't be happy when he heard about John's visit, if he heard about it. Helen herself wasn't sure she wanted to tell him, not because she didn't want him to know, but because she didn't want to talk about it again. Saying anything to James, admitting that it had happened at all, had been bad enough, but saying something to her father would be much worse. Her mind strayed back to the embryo for the barest of seconds and she paused, breaking away as James did, grateful for the distraction.

His words both confused and excited her. She wasn't entirely sure what he was insinuating. Or whether or not she was ready if she was right.

"Did you have something in mind, Darling?" she asked, her voice soft as she let her hand at his cheek drop to cover their joined ones. She was fairly certain her father wouldn't mind her new relationship with James, as he was one Gregory had approved of from the start, simply because of the way James treated Helen. Why else would he have allowed James to live with them in the Sanctuary?

James had no intention of telling her father about John's visit. If anyone told him it would be Helen, James would just be next to her offering his support in the best way possible, silently and with a cup of tea nearby. It was the best way he could think of handling that situation.

But now? Well now he wasn't entirely certain what to make of her actions, after she dropped her hand off his cheek, feeling a little lost. He was a bit more touch driven then he would admit, which was why he shifted his own hand to cover her's on top of their joined hands. It gave him something to touch, to feel of her while he thought. "No, not particularly, just, a wish to spend time with you in a manner more, familiar than what, we otherwise have done so in the past." Which meant more quiet nights with her in one of their studies, just the two of them, or perhaps even another room, in another manner. However much he respected Gregory, and however much the other man liked him, well it was his daughter. Men did change when it was family involved.

She'd only moved to give him a little room, a chance to speak without the distraction of her hand against his face. Her smile warmed as she listened to him, liking what she heard, even as her heart missed a half-beat at the implications of those words. Was she really ready for this? They could take it slowly, yes. Whatever happened would happen and she would take it day-by-day.

She gave his hands a gentle squeeze. "I do believe I would like that, very much." Which was why she had yet to move from their positioning. She liked this closeness, what it was and what it meant. They were officially seeing each other now, weren't they? The only obstacle in their path was her father and Helen didn't see Gregory as an obstacle as much as delayed encouragement. And that was good. In some respects, she felt like a giddy schoolgirl with a secret, a precious secret she could share with none, but that everyone knew already anyway. She could deal with this and the smile on her face practically shouted as much.

The touch wasn't a distraction, he would dare say it was an aide in getting his words out, but he did prevail. Even if his words had come out more, potentially implying of a more intimate thing than he had originally intended, he was just glad she wasn't glaring and leaving him at this point. And he was glad for the squeeze, smiling more at her.

"I do believe it will be easy enough to do then, with us both willing." And that was why he hadn't moved himself. The thought that they were seeing each other now, well it was making his day rather brighter than he had thought it could ever be. Gregory aside (and he would be an obstacle for James until they dealt with him), it was a good thing this. "What would you say, Helen, to not sleeping on the sofa tonight for that more, familiar, evening?" It was as close to an indecent approach as he would make for the moment.

Helen would never glare and leave James. He'd done nothing to hurt her. He wasn't John, after all. She gave his hands another squeeze, trying to encourage both of them so they could work through what was happening between them.

"Yes. I quite agree." She wasn't sure what she wanted, but she was willing to give all of this a try, work through what they could and find a middle ground that they would both be comfortable with. She was just imagining what else they could do tonight when he continued, voicing something she'd almost been afraid of thinking was a possibility. It didn't imply anything particularly intimate, just falling asleep together, as they had the previous night, except in a much more comfortable position.

Her head ducked down for a moment as she considering his request, her cheeks flushing again almost as brightly as they had at the party. Looking back into his eyes, she tried to hold in the smile that was attempting to take over her lips. "I believe... I would be able to accept this."

That only left the question of whose room they would retreat to.

There was that fear there, that he would somehow step across some unspoken line he wasn't aware of and end up paying the consequences for it in that way. He may not be John but he was hesitant about what all he had done to her, and if he would make a mistake John would have that would hurt her.

He was also glad she agreed about how this would work. If they were willing then they would find a way to make this work, a middle ground. Because it was important to them both, to make it work, at least for now. Which was in part why he had asked about just a more comfortable sleeping arrangement, to try and reach something that was both comfortable and safe for them.

It didn't stop his own blush however either but it didn't stop him from standing by the thought. So he sat there waiting until she talked before he smiled at her slightly. No he wasn't going to ask whose room it should be, he would leave that to her instead, he focused on something else. "Well it is either that or I insure you are tucked in well for night, seeing as how you seem unusually flushed all evening, Helen, and I am starting to wonder if you are indeed coming down with something."

Yes a little teasing seemed right in place for the moment to try and make things easier.

Helen would tell him if he ever crossed one of her lines and so far he hadn't done so. She didn't expect him to ever do so, honestly. He was too kind for such a thing, too gentlemanly to ever treat her like John had and she was more grateful for that than she could say. His teasing was met with another soft laugh from her and she ducked her head once more, unsure of where to go now. Her cheeks really were bright red, she was sure.

"Then I suppose I shall let you see me to bed," she murmured, looking back up at him, her eyes teasing him right back. "I daresay I am feeling a little tired now. Shall we, Darling?"

It would likely be her room, as it was closer, and that was just fine with her. But she wouldn't stand up until he did, not wanting to seem eager to let the evening draw to a close.

Where Helen thought he was too kind, James would say he was far more restrained than John had been. A gentleman he may be (and John had been one himself), he was also a far more restrained man, which had led to his being rather quiet about his own feelings. But he was just thankful she liked that in him in all honesty. And if he could just get her to blush that much all the time he would be a happy man.

"If you would like to Helen," he just smiled at her, holding back a chuckle at her words. "I dare say we shall."

But like her he didn't move, not right away at least. Instead he just kissed her cheek once before shifting, slowly, to stand, trying to keep at least one of her hands in his own as he did so, not wishing to give up that contact.

James' quiet control gave Helen a sense of peace and she leaned into it, enjoying the kiss to her cheek. They stood as one, with one of her hands remaining in his as the other rested on his arm. Her smile was bright and warm as they moved towards the door. She didn't let go of him during the entire walk to her room. Fortunately, it wasn't a long walk and soon enough, she was shutting the door and all thoughts of propriety had fled Helen's mind.

She turned towards James once more, taking his hand back in hers as she looked up into his eyes. She didn't want this moment to end, not even if she had to endure gossip in the morning. Wordlessly, she held him close, wanting nothing more than to just keep him with her, for the night and as long as he would consent to be there.

Helen cared about him, far more than she'd previously allowed herself to imagine.

He slid his other hand on top of hers when they stood, smiling just as warmly as her. He kept close to her as they walked as well, his grip only slightly tighter than propriety allowed for but it was out of his need to make sure this was real, and it was made all the more evident when they entered her room, which caused him to pause. This was her room, and that, was a step he never thought he would be taking.

Which was why he had looked a little lost as she closed the door, before smiling at her. At least any gossip found about them would have some sort of basis, which was better than most would think. Which was why he took advantage of her holding him close and slipped his arms around her to help that, thinking for a few moments before saying anything.

"Helen, darling, is there anything you need help doing before bed?"

Helen tilted her head. Oh she certainly had ideas, but she simply gazed up into his eyes. "I suppose I ought to have offered for you to return to your room for a change of clothes," she answered, dodging his question. "I can't imagine you would want to sleep in that."

That had to be uncomfortable. After all, Helen herself planned to change into her nightdress. It was far more comfortable than what she was currently wearing. Of course, allowing him to leave to get those clothes meant she would have to let him go, which she was less than thrilled about at the moment. What she wanted to do was kiss him again, but first thing came first, getting settled.

Ideas he wanted to know really, and he just gazed back with a hint of a smile on his face at that. "Helen, if I wished to return to my room to change I would have said so." It was the truth at least. "And I will be fine, I have slept in far worse before."

And it was true, if he stripped himself down to his undershirt and pants he would be fine really. At least for the night, and it meant he wouldn't have to leave her or let her go, which certainly were perks of that idea over all. "So again darling, how may I help you?"

The blush crept up her cheeks again and she ducked her head before she lifted her hands to gently place them at his hips. A decade had passed since she'd done anything like this with a man and she was finding her nerves spiking, even for something as simple as holding him. She was such a confident woman normally, but now... things were quite different.

She opened her mouth to protest and then closed it, smiling sheepishly. "If you're certain, Darling." She wouldn't complain. It meant she didn't have to let him go. Her hands tightened almost imperceptibly at his hips before she leaned closer to answer him in action rather than words, sealing her response with a kiss if he would let her.

He was finding that lack of confidence rather charming really. Seeing her uncertain about things, just as he was, full of nerves and such it calmed him somewhat and made things more reassuring to himself. At least he wasn't the only one feeling that way. And her blushing was a treat for him.

So he just smiled at her still, nodding, "I am." He was certain, he would be fine just the way he was. Which was why he was still smiling at her hands on his hips and leaning in to kiss her better, not denying her that act. After all it was just as easy for them to talk with actions right? And why shouldn't they take advantage of their situation.

Her father would be gone for a bit longer, days, maybe weeks, and now Helen wanted to take full advantage of his absence. Now that she knew how James truly felt about her and had finally realized how she felt about him, she didn't particularly want to waste any more time than she had already.

She just had to hope that John wouldn't turn up. His presence would destroy the fragile confidence she had in her situation, her relationship, with James and she didn't want that at all.

One of her hands slid up to cup his cheek, holding him close to her. It was still amazing to her that she was allowing him to touch her like this when just two days ago, John had made her feel utterly violated with a very similar touch. What a difference it made to be with someone she trusted.

Eventually, she had to break the kiss so she could breathe and in doing so, she smiled up at him. A moment passed before she leaned back, took his hand, and began to slowly lead him over to the bed. There was no real need for them to remain upright after how trying these last few days were. At some point, she would need to take her hair down, but that, too, could wait until they were in the bed.

James didn't wish to waste any more time then was absolutely needed either. So long as Gregory wasn't in the house it would make this much easier for him, as he wouldn't feel as if he was betraying the confidence Gregory had in him when it came to things, because sneaking around behind his back would not sit well with him. Even if he and Helen wanted to.

And if John turned up, well James didn't want that to happen. Things would get much worse if he did.

But he pushed aside those thoughts to kiss her, enjoy her touch on his cheek, staying close. He did smile at her when she had to break the kiss, squeezing her hand as they went to the bed. There was no need to stay upright now, not after everything, and frankly he was looking forward to just spending time with her there.

"You will be comfortable like that, darling?" He had to ask though, she was in the worst outfit of the two of them after all to sleep in, he didn't want her to lay down and be uncomfortable.

Helen had been thinking of her outfit and planned to change it at some point, but for right now, she needed to just take things slowly. Actually sharing a bed with him, whether or not anything happened while they slept, would open up so many gateways and Helen needed time to adjust to everything.

"I will change in a few minutes," she answered honestly, readjusting her grip on the hand that she still held. She settled down on the edge of the bed, not yet lying down, but making it clear that James could should he wish to. Helen had other things on her mind, things like dealing with her hair. That she definitely couldn't leave as it was, and so she began to pull pins out slowly and methodically, letting her long blonde locks fall from their places up on her head.

Once she was done, she rose again and replaced them on her dresser, where the rest of the pins she used in her hair lay normally, and then grabbed her night shift and robe from her wardrobe and turned for the door.

"I'll be right back, darling," she told him with a smile, leaving the room for the bathroom so she could change without making a show of it in front of him. It took several minutes, fewer than normal because she was rushing through it, and eventually she made it back to the room, replacing her day clothes where she would remember to wash them. With her hair now loose and flowing down her shoulders, the door securely shut behind her, and her nightdress settled along her body, she turned back to James with a smile and climbed up on the bed, content to lie down now.

"I'm afraid my feet may be cold," she murmured teasingly as she slipped under the covers.

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